That’s the kind of way we want them to think in terms of wisdom about dating. So we hope to train up our children to think in terms of I want to start dating when I can actually marry. In presenting these questions, I’m not taking a position for or against online dating. I realize that, yes, a small percentage of people have married someone they met online. I also know many more people who have not met anyone suitable online. This, like many aspects of modern life, has no clear chapter-and-verse directive in the Bible.

How Will God Tell You Who to Date? (4 Questions God Will Help You Answer)

Biblical dating assumes a context of spiritual accountability, as is true in every other area of the Christian life. Modern dating tends to assume that you will spend a great deal of time together . Biblical dating tends to encourage time spent in group activities or with other people the couple knows well. Modern dating tends to be egalitarian (no differences between men and women in spiritual or emotional “wiring” or God-given roles). Biblical dating tends to be complementarian . Many believers followed the teachings found in the book and refused to date anyone to instead wait for the divinely chosen person whom God intended for them to marry.

The scary reality is that we can find an answer somewhere to justify what we want to do — right or wrong, safe or unsafe, wise or unwise. The advice we choose might be from a book by a doctor, or a random conversation with someone at church, or a blog post by a teenager, or just something we found on Pinterest. For many of us, if we’re honest, it really doesn’t matter who’s offering the advice as long as it confirms what we thought or wanted in the first place. It’s not the first rule, but I have found that it is a “golden rule” that most often makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy Christian dating relationships. If you’re not a Christian — if you haven’t dealt with God before trying to date — you don’t have a chance of having a truly healthy Christian relationship with someone else. But even if you are a Christian, there are still a thousand more ways to subtly or blatantly reject God’s wisdom and fall into sin.

If we never act before we know everything about the future, we will always stay stuck right where we are at. When you date long-distance as a Christian, you will also be less tempted to be totally consumed by this new relationship. Many people disappear from the face of the earth when they start dating someone. When your boyfriend or girlfriend is not always present, you will be able to more easily continue in other healthy relationships within your Christian community.

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I hope that’s not your experience, but it was mine. And I’d love to save even of a few of you from the stupidity and heartache that plagued me . Knowing that the Lord is pleased with your relationship is the ultimate reward. In addition, if we conduct our relationship God’s way, we are less likely to experience unnecessary heartbreak. A Godly dating relationship is one that seeks God in every step, abstains from sexual intimacy, and has an element of spiritual accountability. These three elements will help you to make wise choices concerning who you date and how you date.

Can You Be Content with Singleness Today?

Instead, the dating world is based on “what feels good” in the moment. Marriage may never be the goal and there is likely no Bang Pals accountability from outside sources. Walk with God, be biblically grounded, and stay focused on the real goals of dating.

While the principles supporting biblical dating have their beginnings with the very structure of the family, modern dating has its origins with the sexual revolution of the 1960s. It is brand new, and yet, seemingly, it is all we know. If the doctrine of the sufficiency of Scripture is true, then God’s Word does have authoritative guidance for us about how we might best glorify God in this area of our lives. That means our conversation has to be a biblical conversation. A godly dating relationship can be defined as an intimate relationship that seeks to honor the Lord while growing closer to one another.

That’s what I hope this column will be about — applying God’s Word to dating, finding a spouse and getting married. The answers he brings may be different from anything you’ve heard before. The topics he’s going to be dealing with are ones in which equally committed Christians have found different biblical interpretations. Not all will agree with Scott’s approach, and we invite feedback from anyone who believes there are better interpretations for the biblical passages Scott draws from. Looking for a completely countercultural path to marriage? Here’s how to apply God’s Word to dating, finding a spouse and getting married.

What do a daring prison escape and a shocking lynching have in common? Only the inimitable John Jordan can figure it out! When we lie to ourselves so we can do what we want, things might go well at first but eventually the lies will catch up to us. It’s not easy to live with honesty, but in the end it will save you so much trouble and heartache. There are many different approaches to Christian dating, all of which have their pros and cons.

Through personal experience and counseling others, I have found that to be a golden rule in Christian dating, the rule that most often makes the difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships. But why would I choose this article for myself at that age? First, because nothing in my life and faith has been more confusing and spiritually hazardous than my pursuit of marriage was. My teenage years were a long string of relationships that were too serious for our age, went on too long, and therefore often ended badly and painfully.